This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.

Terry Perkins
Terry Perkins

A culinary expert with over a decade in artisanal food and drink, passionate about sustainable cooking and creative mixology.